A Nod of the Head

Oh, the things we’ve been through
Enough to look back on while a tear fills my eye
Oh, how this song reminds me of you
So beautiful and smooth, so calming and warm

You are watching from a distance
And walking away, it just gets harder
My heart flutters, I’m getting dizzy
It’s hard to swallow, and I’m growing cold

It’s like I was made to never forget you
From swingsets to classrooms
And sunny days to cold nights
A slow exhale and a nod of the head
And with this, we bid farewell

I couldn’t expect you to turn around
For there are much bigger and better things
Hopefully right around the corner for us both

But maybe those better things stand right where we left
And maybe your heart is worth dropping my bags
And running home

-jambi

Footprints

Weeks spent in such selfish time
Brings a smile so futile, so dishonestly discontented
You weep, you smile, but your heart is growing cold
And you spend your time in disbelief

It’s worked before, almost too good to be true
Shoulders to cry on come in by the dozen
When it’s for a face like yours
You can just tell, these shoulders are growing cold

I am breaking for you
While you’re breaking yourself
And this time you’ve seen
You fell a bit too far
You fell a bit too hard
And now you’ve broken yourself

Another day in the rain, the dirt turns to mud
But it all washes away, and yesterday is back again
The tears are cold against your cheek
And this summer air, it seems to start growing cold

And you don’t feel that you feel lonely
But something inside is screaming for a way out of it
And you don’t feel that you feel lonely
Because you’re breaking yourself

I am breaking for you
While you’re breaking yourself
And this time you’ve seen
You fell a bit too far
You fell a bit too hard
And now you’ve broken yourself

When all the shoulders are cold
You finally see yourself alone
And you finally see that you’ve broken yourself

So you drive away from all of it
And you look at your life from the skyline
You fall to your knees, and you search for escape

You close your eyes and breathe through your mouth
And you admit that you’ve broken yourself
And with all your strength, there’s no hope on your own
To even get back on your feet again

When you see that footprints are your most lasting impression
On the world around you
You give it all away
And tomorrow, you’ll live another way

I was breaking for you
While you were breaking yourself
And this time you’ve seen
That you fell a bit too hard
And I couldn’t be more glad
You found the only thing
That can mend your broken self

-jambi

Snow Covered Ground

I am blessed with so many things
For just to see the stars
It means more than some could know
And just to see this moon
Shedding light onto the night’s snow covered ground
As I walk home tonight

I’ll finally say it
I’ll turn it over tonight
Now it’s Yours and Yours alone
Everything that I can say
I want to do this all for You
My God and king
Use my everything

It might be about time, but the time is right
To make it all for You
It will mean more to me than I know
So I’ll sit and watch the moon
I know I’m not alone, walking the snow covered ground
As I walk home tonight

-Zach

Feel My Hurt

Sometimes I feel so broken down
And I take to believing that I’m alone in this here
But out of the blue You seem to disprove me
Showing me things in a way I can only describe
As the way You look at these everyday things

So I will run to You
The God who so understands me
You can feel my hurt
You have, You do, and You did
You felt my hurt all in one day
God, You can feel my hurt

The storms blow in and the crashing waves
They pull me under with such incredible ease
It’s almost unbelievable, but still, You know how it feels
When my world seems to be so
Broken, shattered, lost, and falling apart

I will run to You
The God who so understands me
You can feel my hurt
You have, You do, and You did
You felt my hurt all in one day
God, You can feel my hurt

You can take, take
I might break, break
But God, I will hold on to You
Because with all of Your heart
You can feel my hurt

-Zach

I did NOT write this. But it’s good to think about.

I was very damaged
I was angry, I was hurt
I had given up on myself

If you do not forgive them
It doesn’t cost them anything
But it costs you everything
It’s like letting them live in your heart
Without paying rent
They don’t care
But it tears you apart

What do you do when the people who hurt you aren’t sorry
And will never apologize?

“Do what I did
Forgive them anyway”

I choose to forgive you
I want you out of my life
What you did to me
I do not want it to define me
I choose to forgive you
Because I don’t want to give you the rest of my life

That was the best I could do when I was angry and hurt

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These words are taken from Dr. Wess Stafford, the president of Compassion International. Read Shaun Groves’ post here. How could I ever go through what Dr. Stafford has if I have trouble dealing with things so minuscule in comparison?

Thankful For

What I’m thankful for deserves more than a list
Lord, I know I don’t always live like I should, with You at the top
But help me be honest when I say that I want to
And from the bottom of my heart, this is all thanks to You

Though I may not always say or show in other ways
A big hand is in order for those who’ve made me who I am today
First and foremost, my parents and my family
Lord, let us know You more

Sometimes I feel a little thankful that I can’t recall all the past
Because I’m not a huge fan of who I used to be
So thank You for this change in me

For that is the beginning of the rest of my life
Thank You for making me to be moved by beautiful noise
And giving me a passion that can turn my head to You

I believe the man was wise who questioned how we would know
Just how much it means to have a friend if we never knew an enemy
Lord, I would thank You for my friends one by one
But I just don’t think I can when confined to a page
So thank You again for all of my friends, oh, Lord
And let this last line be a reminder to live a life showing love to them

-Zach

The Destroyer

I am the destroyer in this game
Standing under a hit and miss
As the good guys fire for two
The destroyer on my side stands strong

Ready, aim, fire, and men suffer from war
Kill, kill, kill, and the good guys push onwards

Standing firm, I can take a hit
After dishing out double, gain speed
My bleeding hands, clenched into fists
All in a days work of waging war with you

Kill, kill, kill, and our men suffer from this war
Ready, aim, fire, and my men kill yours

Only in my shoes am I on the good side
Because in yours, the good side is you
Step away, breathe
Left, right, left, and breathe your last for me

The destroyer smiles in my shoes
But the redeemer smiles in yours
Even in what seems self-defeat

-jambi

Ghost Town

Lights on at night, it’s like a ghost town
The footsteps I hear are only my own
The raindrops kick the footprints and I kick the habit
And the eyes looking back at me might not be yours alone

Falling mist under the streetlights out the window
It looks like it’d be quite a long fall for me, too
This silence is unheard and unheard of
I feel like I’m speaking, but no words seem to flow

Maybe we’re all speechless today
There’s just something in the air besides this
Rain that’s falling down on us
Because you’re here, and I’m thinking
That my mind’s not in the right

Jesus, I think that you’re the ghost in this town
Because they might not see you in me
And I’m not about to blame them
But you are the one I want to be seen

Make me the ghost in this town
So that not me, but you would be seen
Everything we could ever need
Through me, may you be shown

But I swear it, I feel like I’m in a ghost town
Maybe I’m the one who’s a ghost
And maybe these eyes aren’t looking at me after all

-jambi